Thursday, January 3, 2013

News from the Acacademy....

Genghis Khan - Planet Savior....

Genghis Khan has been branded the greenest invader in history - after his murderous conquests killed so many people that huge swathes of cultivated land returned to forest.
The Mongol leader, who established a vast empire between the 13th and 14th centuries, helped remove nearly 700 million tons of carbon from the atmosphere, claims a new study.
The deaths of 40 million people meant that large areas of cultivated land grew thick once again with trees, which absorb carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.
And, although his methods may be difficult for environmentalists to accept, ecologists believe it may be the first ever case of successful manmade global cooling.  [Ed., I don't think they'd have any trouble whatsoever employing Genghis's methods.]

‘It's a common misconception that the human impact on climate began with the large-scale burning of coal and oil in the industrial era,’ said Julia Pongratz, who headed the research by the Carnegie Institution's Department of Global Ecology.
Though the Khan will remain known as Genghis the Destroyer and not Genghis the Green, Dr Pongratz hopes that her research will lead to future historians examining environmental impact as well as the more traditional aspects of study.

‘Based on the knowledge we have gained from the past, we are now in a position to make land-use decisions that will diminish our impact on climate and the carbon cycle,’ she said.
'We cannot ignore the knowledge we have gained.’
Read the whole story here

This one belongs in the shit you can't make up folder.

Also, something to consider:  You may want to keep that AR at hand, just in case the Gorebots decide to implement a policy to "diminish our impact on climate and the carbon cycle," at your personal expense.


  1. An international group of geneticists studying Y-chromosome data have found that nearly 8 percent of the men living in the region of the former Mongol empire carry y-chromosomes that are nearly identical. That translates to 0.5 percent of the male population in the world, or roughly 16 million descendants living today. (National Geographic Society)

    All I'm suggesting is that in addition to re-forresting Asia through depopulation, that he was 'sexually active'. This means that he helped re-populate the planet that he depopulated. From reading the scandal sheets about Al Gore's philandering: Gore's less than well regarded (by the girl) efforts with prostitutes and hotel maids who characterized his amorous approaches as those of a "crazed poodle" don't put him anywhere near the Great Khan in terms of virile behavior.

    So what I think I'm suggesting is that Gore is hung somewhat less than the average Asian man. Am I going out on a limb? The whores of Gore say, "no".

    However, asking the Great Khan to surrender his sword, bow or lance might not have met with the politically correct response that Gore and friends expect from the average American male.

  2. SYCMU. Yep, got the right folder.